


humpty dumpty

by junkeigo



Category: JO1 (Japan Band)
Genre: Accidents, Car Accidents, Character Death, Healing, Honestly I Don't Know What Else To Say But I Hope I Made It Clear That You've Been Warned, M/M, Recovery, Sick Character, What happens after death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23155915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junkeigo/pseuds/junkeigo
Summary: Keigo goes to see people that he has never met before, who all have one common denominator.
Relationships: Kono Junki/Sato Keigo
Comments: 15
Kudos: 28





	humpty dumpty

Keigo doesn’t know where to start, but he had a plan.

He had been thinking about it for quite some time now—considering he had a lot of free time recently—and it feels like something he should do. There were way too many reasons on top of his head but among many things, it just felt right to do it.

He’s had the list and profiles for quite some time now. It was hard to get as it’s confidential information, but Keigo had the means and he wasn’t afraid of anything anymore. His biggest fears have already manipulated into existence so there was nothing left to be afraid of.

The night before, he prepared himself mentally and emotionally. More like he paced around the living area of his apartment as he cradles a cup of cold coffee in his hands, thinking about how things would go down and how he should handle himself when the time comes.

He leaves his apartment first thing in the morning.

-

He’s heard of Kimata Syoya here and there.

They live in the same prefecture, and he was one of the first recipients, so he stuck the most in Keigo’s memory.

Keigo’s standing outside of his house like a fool, hiding himself behind the brick wall fence. His palms are starting to get clammy and he’s breaking into a sweat even though it was a particularly cool windy day. He’d been stupidly waiting around outside for almost half an hour now until a man walks past him, and then asks him who he’s looking for.

“I’m looking for Kimata Syoya?” he has rather shyly, and the man gives him a small smile.

“He just went out to buy something. Come in, you can just wait for him inside.” The man gestures him in as he opens the gate for him.

The house is simple and clean, and Keigo could see the pictures of Syoya on the wall. Medals of honor and certificates from awards of some sort. He sits on the couch as the man, who he now assumes is Syoya’s father, is offering him a drink. He chooses tea and sits there awkwardly, staring at the threads on his jeans.

“How did you know Syoya? Are you his friend from university?” the man asks as he sets down the cup of tea on the coffee table.

“I’m actually—“

“I’m home!” Keigo hears a cheery voice from where they came in earlier.

Kimata Syoya looks so much like Junki that Keigo almost drops his cup of tea on himself.

He feels his throat constrict, and the tears are heavy on the back of his eyes. He tries to stabilize himself mentally, breathing heavily in slow intervals as Kimata Syoya approaches them cautiously.

“This young man was waiting outside our house earlier for you, so I let him in.” Syoya’s dad explains in behalf of him and Syoya nods, but still looks at Keigo expectantly.

Keigo cannot, for the love of him, look at Syoya directly.

He opts to look at his shoulder.

“What can I help you with?” Syoya asks him, and he tries to speak, but no words come out the first time. He coughs to clear his throat.

“Yeah, um, I’m Keigo Sato. We haven’t met yet before but—“ he tries to think on how he should say it. He’s practiced it a bunch of times in his head and had it memorized just in case but now that he’s here in front of him, all the words in his head have been drained out.

He gives a quick look at Syoya’s face and he’s looking at him expectantly, eyes wide and trained at him.

He heaves out a deep breath.

“I knew the person who was your eye donor.” he finally manages to get it out, and Syoya nods, immediately figuring it out.

“I understand. How did you manage to find out?” he asks and Keigo rubs his sweaty palms on his jeans.

“I just tracked the donations. I’m sorry for coming without any notice.”

“It’s fine. I totally understand.” Syoya smiles.

“I’ll leave you two to it.” Syoya’s dad smiles at the two boys and leaves them alone to go outside.

Keigo thinks of where he should start, and Syoya could probably see him hesitate as the air is awkward between them.

“Can you, um, I just want to know a little bit about you. So I can share it with him. If it’s fine.” he says, and Syoya hums. He tells him that he’s a college student, taking up a business course through a scholarship and dances on his free time. He owns a pet rabbit and is sometimes called as an airhead by his friends because he seems to be clueless half the time. He had his name in the list of patients in need of donation for quite some time now, and until recently their family wasn’t expecting much anymore. He was also already succumbing into it when they received a call first thing in the morning, that Syoya already had a donor for his eyes. 

“I’m grateful for _him,_ for giving me a chance to see again. I’m honestly eternally grateful.” Syoya says after telling things about himself when Keigo asks, and Keigo swallows the lump that is blocking his throat. 

“I’m sure he’s happy knowing it went to a good person like you Syoya.” Keigo says, and he’s not lying.

“How was he like?” Syoya asks him, and he smiles a little, thinking about him.

“Honestly speaking, you look a whole lot like him.” Keigo admits.

“Really?”

“Really. It’s not just the eyes or anything.”

“Wow.”

“I think it was meant to be, for you to get his eyes.” he trails off. “Maybe he handpicked you from where he is right now.”

“I’m sure he’s in a good place now.”

“Yeah, I don’t doubt it. He had always been the nice one between the two of us, if anyone’s going up there it’s him.” he laughs rather awkwardly and Syoya purses his lips.

Syoya gets him to tell him more about Junki, and he does, to the best of his ability without breaking down or crying. He was so close already, but he knew he had to see it through. 

It was already dark out when he and Syoya have decided to call it a day, and Syoya’s father have even insisted for him to eat dinner with them. He politely declined, telling them he has to catch a train still.

“Sato-san.” Syoya calls out to him as he’s already on his way out after bidding goodbye and he looks back at the younger male. He curses internally at how his mind immediately thought it was Junki standing there by the end of the hallway.

“Thank you for coming again today. I didn’t really anticipate it, but it was a nice surprise. Thank you for sharing him to me.” Syoya bows to him as low as he can.

“It’s nothing. Thank you for entertaining my sudden visit, and please take care. Enjoy the beauty of the world.” He says, and Syoya nods enthusiastically before waving him goodbye.

He waves back before he heads out, and it’s only at the train where he slumps into his chair and cry out what he had been holding out the entire day.

-

He goes to Shiga, Kyoto, and Osaka next.

The next three recipients are also the same age as Syoya, and the meetings with them went well than what Keigo would have expected.

He probably was just too emotional with Syoya as he had his eyes, and it didn’t help that they looked alike and it was his first time. Looking back at it now he regrets not going to him last, because nothing really had prepared him for that meeting.

Tsurubo Shion who hails from Shiga just came back from Korea where he was an exchange student because he started exhibiting health problems. It turned out that he had inherited some liver problem from his father’s side and his had decided to do the treatment in Japan in order to focus on him better. When Keigo met him he looked well already, and despite him being a little awkward first Keigo felt like he could deal with him better. He immediately tugged at Keigo’s heartstrings just like how a younger brother would, and Shion even happily told Keigo that if he needed someone to hang out with he’s always up and ready for it.

Ohira Shosei was the same, but he had inherited polycystic kidney disease. Keigo wanted to cry when he saw him, because he looked so frail and thin that it hurt his heart. He was a soft spoken boy when Keigo talked to him in the hospital he was staying at. Shosei shares that he’s recovering, and that he’s thankful. Keigo promises to relay the message when he meets Junki again, and doesn’t hesitate to tell Shosei that he’s glad that a part of Junki went to a kind boy just like him.

Kinjo Sukai had a pancreatic islet cell transplant from what Keigo had heard from him. His family had a history of diabetes and his manifested too young and too intensely already. He was more subdued than the first two he met before him, and he had a stern face on always. He was sort of quiet like Shosei, but not as warm.

Keigo understands. Undergoing through hardships in life changes as a person, the same way everything that had happened had changed him. All these hardships these boys he’d met so far would have made its own impact on them as well, even though if they don’t share it with Keigo.

Despite Sukai being quieter Keigo didn’t feel uncomfortable with him. He enjoyed their brief moments of silence in where Sukai is waiting for him to ask a question or when he’s thinking of how to answer a Junki related question.

Just like Syoya, all of them had never forgotten to thank Keigo for going all the way to visit them and Junki, for the donations he had given them.

Keigo thanks them as well, and asks them to take care of themselves and live life happily and healthily from now on as a favor.

-

Keigo knows his error from the first visit, and puts off his Hyogo stop to go to Okayama first instead.

There he meets Mamehara Issei, a fifteen year old boy. He has read his file already, but the age still stuns him. _He’s too young,_ Keigo thinks. 

While the previous ones have been organs, it was Junki’s blood that was donated to Issei. Issei was sleeping when Keigo came, and so it was his parents that he was able to talk to first. They tell him about Issei, the simple kind and friendly kid down to the story of how it all happened—with Mame-chan (as he was fondly referred to) riding his bicycle to school one day. There was no hints of it all happening, nothing out of the ordinary that day—and yet it still happened. An over speeding truck made a wrong overtake and hit a car, whose collision got his bicycle rolling under the truck and him being run over. It all happened so quickly apparently according to those who managed to see the accident, and with that the poor boy was rushed to the hospital.

Issei’s mom still gets quite emotional as she tells the story to him, and he offers her a cup of tea he bought from the hospital canteen to help her breathe. Issei’s dad is sitting across them, listening to them talk as he glances at where Issei is resting on the bed every now and then.

“He lost a lot of blood. A lot. He was barely alive when he was brought in, and I feel so bad for my baby boy...” Issei’s mom says through her tears that she wipes off and Keigo puts a hand on top of her clasped shaking hands.

“But at least he’s fine now, and recovering. He made it out.” he reassures her, and she nods.

“Yes. Through good faith he was able to make it, and with the help of the person who donated blood for him.” she says. “How has he been?”

“He’s deceased already, actually.”

“Oh my. Condolence.”

It’s the first time he had heard the word in the longest time. He had heard it so many times during the wake that he got sick of it, the condolences and the sympathies for the loss. Because it meant he really lost him, and it was something he was reeling from back then.

“It was also an accident. Like Issei’s.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. It couldn’t be helped. It wasn’t intentional, just a mistake of an action that led to something else.” He says while watching Issei’s sleeping form. He could remember when he watched Junki on the same condition, strapped to machines and hanging on to his dear life. Issei’s calm breathing was the only thing different to then and now, because back then it always looked like Junki stopped breathing already and it drove him insane.

Issei was sleeping during the entire visiting hours, so he just decided to leave it at that. His parents had given him their number, should Keigo want to visit Mame-chan when he’s already awake. He takes the card with both hands and thanked them for letting him visit.

Keigo couldn’t help but think of how Junki would have liked Issei as a younger brother had he still been alive.

-

There’s only 3 more people left to visit, and he thinks about finally going to Hyogo, but on the train he changes his mind and travels an extra 5 hours to Fukuoka.

Kawashiri Ren looks intimidating at first, but he welcomes him with a warm smile when Keigo knocks on the doorstep of his apartment.

Keigo does the same thing he did for the previous ones he met. Introduced himself, told them his intentions. Ren nods as he listens, and Keigo couldn’t help but train his eyes on the way Ren’s chest rise and fall as he speaks, moves, and even breathes.

He did get Junki’s lungs after all.

Ren tells him that he’s a dancer. A professional dancer. The one that works on a studio and is an on call dancer for concerts, music shows, everything that needs dancing under the sun. It was everything he wanted to do in life ever since he was young, until recently he felt more and more tired and sick. He played it off as probably fatigue, but then it got worse to the point he couldn’t dance anymore due to the pain. It turned out he had a rare case of Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis manifesting at his age where oxygen goes through his lungs and enters his bloodstream. He managed to get the transplant through sheer luck of having a donor available, and he’s currently recuperating.

“Junki is a singer. I mean, not professionally. But he’s really good at singing. He used to always sing songs in karaoke nailing the high notes, so I don’t think you’d have problems with breathing while dancing. I’m pretty sure he has bigger lungs than an average person.” He jokes and Ren laughs softly.

“Thank goodness. I guess I got lucky really.” Ren teases back and Keigo smiles as they fall into another comfortable silence until Ren asks. “Do you miss him?”

Ren’s question came out of nowhere so he is surprised into thinking. He

“I do. I miss him a lot. His presence had always been so loud, so the lack of it is even louder.” He admits, and Ren nods.

“At least he gets to live on in one way or another. He seems like a great guy, from what you tell me.”

“Yeah he was. He’d always been so selfless, even to his last moments.”

“I can tell. He literally gave himself away.”

“More or less.”

When it was already his time to leave, Ren gives him a pat on the shoulder.

“I’m sure he’s proud of you for doing all of this.” Ren says genuinely, and Keigo nods. “You’re a great guy too Keigo. Live happily.”

“Thanks Ren. You too as well. Take care and live healthily, do the things you love and be happy.” He says before he goes on his way out.

“See you around Keigo.”

“You too, Ren. Thanks for having me today so suddenly.”

“Anytime.”

-

He makes sure he’s emotionally ready when he rides the train to Hyogo.

He doesn’t know why, but he’s the most nervous for this one.

He thinks among the seven so far, only Kimata had given him a shock due to the fact that he looked a lot like Junki and he was not able to prepare himself for that type of scenario. The rest were meetings that he was able to enjoy in his own way, and with the visit with Ren he was already feeling a little bit better to some extent.

He’s jittery on the ride to Hyogo, probably because he’s about to visit the person who had received Junki’s heart.

When he arrives at Kawanishi Takumi’s residence, it was already late out.

He hesitated on ringing the doorbell. No sane person would let a stranger in their home at night.

So he stood out there waiting for a couple of minutes until a short pink haired guy opened the gate in front of him. He stepped back in surprise and the pink haired guy tilted his head at him.

“May I know who you’re looking for?” he asks and he clears his throat.

“I’m looking for Kawanishi Takumi? I’m sorry, it’s very late. I just got here from Fukuoka.”

“Oh, I’m Takumi.” Pink haired guy says, and smiles at him. “It’s never too late for a visitor, but may I know who you are and what are you here for?”

“I’m Sato Keigo. I’m… a friend, of the person whose heart went to you.” He says, and Takumi’s face lit up.

“Oh. I got it. Come inside, it’s cold out.”

Takumi makes him sit on the couch in the living room as he moves around. He moves slowly, and Keigo understands that he’s being careful.

“Is it find for you to be moving around?” he asks in a sincere manner and Takumi smiles, gums showing.

“It’s fine. I’m still trying to adjust again, so that’s why I move slowly.”

Kawanishi Takumi is a factory worker. Keigo and Junki are older than him by a year, but he’s not from a well off family so he has to work a systematic job in the factory for long hours. After working three consecutive shifts he just suddenly collapsed at work and suffered from a heart failure. Due to multiple complications he needed a heart transplant, and luckily there was one available.

Keigo’s patient in listening to him tell his story as they drink tea, even in such a late time at night. Takumi talks well, despite being slow, and Keigo can’t help but feel a slight pin stuck in his own heart.

Keigo tells him about his journey. How he came from Aichi moving south down to Fukuoka, then coming back here to Hyogo. He tells him about the people he met briefly, and Takumi listens. Takumi asks him about Junki. What were his likes and dislikes, what were his hobbies. He tells Takumi that Junki likes carbonara and curry rice. Junki liked singing, playing soccer. Junki liked hanging out with people who equally enjoy his presence. He speaks of him with such high regard that Takumi can’t help but smile warmly at him.

“I don’t believe you’re just a friend like you claim you are.” Takumi says and he raises his eyebrow at him. “You loved him, didn’t you? You couldn’t come to me even coming after Osaka, after Okayama. You’re scared.”

Keigo sighs, rubbing his eyes.

“He didn’t know. I don’t know if he knows, but as far as I’m concerned I never told him. I was afraid, that if I told him what I felt he wouldn’t feel the same and we’d stop being friends. I’d have to stop seeing him. I opted for the easy way out.”

“Do you regret not telling him?”

“Every single day I wake up and remember that he’s not here anymore, I regret.”

“Then tell me right now instead. I have his heart. I’ll tell you how it responds.” Takumi gives him yet another gummy smile, patting his chest lightly.

He thinks it’s a crazy idea, but then again he’s the one who’s travelling all over Japan to look for the people who got Junki’s body parts.

“Junkichi. Kono Junki. I’ve known you for the longest time. I don’t remember a day where I didn’t like you, nor a day when I didn’t love you. Even up to now, every single day, I love you still.” he says with his eyes closed, thinking of Junki. He tries not to cry even though his heart is begging him—Junki has probably laughed at him for how many times he had cried over the past few months. He’d probably tell him he looks ugly when he cries.

If there was a God, then he was a mean one for taking Junki away from him.

“I think he loves you too.” Takumi says, breaking the silence between them.

“I hope so.”

“I know so, Keigo-san. Trust me on this one.” Takumi assures him. “I actually came out because I felt uneasy. My heart was unrest. When I opened the gate and you were waiting outside, if it was any other day I wouldn’t have entertained—but it was like as if my heart had a life on its own. I think—Junki wanted me to let you in.”

Keigo starts crying, silent tears that became heavy sobs. Takumi gives him a hug as he cries, and gives him a pat on the back. It’s been a while since he cried like this, probably the funeral.

Takumi offers him to stay the night, and just leave in the morning. He didn’t have the heart to say no.

“What do you plan to do now?” Takumi asks him.

“I have one more person to visit. Two actually. Then, I don’t know. I’ll see from there.”

“If you need someone to listen, you can always call me. You don’t have to be in on this alone.”

“Thanks Takumi. It means a lot.”

“No worries. I don’t think I’ve said it yet, but I’m thankful that I got to know Junki through you. I’m thankful I got to tell you how he feels. My heart is at ease now. I think it’s true that the heart doesn’t forget.”

Takumi turns off the light for him, and tells him to sleep well.

-

His flight to Okinawa lands late, but it’s not like he was in a hurry anyway.

Sho picks him up from the airport.

“Sorry to have kept you waiting. My flight got delayed.” He apologizes the moment Sho lets him go for a hug.

“It’s fine. Ruki was sleeping when I left, and you know when he sleeps. He’s like a drained battery.” Sho humors him as he throws Keigo’s bag at the backseat of his convertible.

They start the drive back to Sho’s place and Keigo takes in the scenery. Okinawa had always been a good place for him. Fresh air, pretty sights, kind people, and he had a lot of good memories with Junki here every time they visited. Junki had even sworn that he would want to get married on the beach. Keigo smiled at the fond memory.

When they arrive at the mansion, Ruki was already awake.

He greeted Keigo with a hug, and told him it was glad to see him again.

“How long has it been? I don’t even remember anymore.” Ruki says, and Sho is quick to help him sit by his side.

“Me too. I missed you guys a lot.”

“We missed you too Keigo. We understand too.” Sho says with a warm smile at him.

If anybody understood Keigo the most, it would have been Sho.

Sho was Junki’s cousin, and he was the one who helped prepare the funeral and all the things needed when Keigo couldn’t. Sho knew, even though he never asked Keigo directly about it. It was those types of things that need not be said.

Shortly after Junki died, his partner Ruki suffered from a kidney failure—and he got Junki’s other kidney. Keigo knows that it makes Sho feel at ease that it was Junki’s and not anyone else’s.

 _“He would be happy to know that he could have helped. If he was alive I think we all know he would willingly offer his own kidney for him too.”_ Sho once said to him over the phone back then.

Ruki seems to be alive and well and it makes Keigo happy.

“How have you been?” Sho asks him, and he clasps his hands.

“I visited the people… who received Junki’s donations.” He says rather proudly, and Sho’s eyes smile.

“How were they?”

“All good people. I think Junki would have been friends with all of them. He’d be happy.”

“I’m relieved.” Sho says, one of his hands caressing the back of Ruki’s palm. “—and I’m glad you’re doing well.”

“I’m taking it one step at a time. I don’t think he’d be happy to see me sad. He always hated seeing me mad or upset. He’d say I look ugly.”

“Well that was Junki for you. You still loved that brat regardless.” Ruki says jokingly.

“I did. It’s crazy. I don’t think I’ll ever love someone else too.”

“Whipped.” Ruki whispers to Sho and they laugh, and it makes Keigo smile. Seeing Sho and Ruki happy together and living well makes him at ease. Junki would have wanted the same for them.

He excuses himself to go to the beach, as the mansion is close to one. It was the one that he and Junki always went to, the beach where they swam and ran around and played under the sun with. It was the same beach where Junki fell asleep on the sand at night and under the moonlight he looked so beautiful, so at peace, that Keigo couldn’t resist but give him a kiss on the forehead. It was their beach.

It never changed, it was still the same pretty place he remembered. Only Junki was not beside him.

The waves crash to the shore loudly and the wind is as strong as the tide, but it only makes Keigo feel more relaxed. He takes off his shoes and throws them on one side, running barefoot on the sand. He stops when he is just inches away from the water, and begins yelling loudly.

“Junki! Junkichi! It’s me! Keigo!” he screams into the vast space of water. “I’m doing fine! How about you? Are you doing well? I hope you’re not getting bored without me there!”

The waves lap at his foot and the cold water takes him aback.

“I met the people whom you’ve helped. They’re all amazing people. They said they’re thankful for your help. They’re all good people, Junkichi. I think you would have loved being friends with them. There’s one boy named Mame-chan, he would have been someone you would have doted on. I wish you could have met him Junkichi. I wish you’ve met all of them. But then again, you’re a part of them now, so I guess that counts?”

The sound of the wind and water drowns his voice but he knows that even as a whisper, the air will take his words to Junki—wherever he is.

“I miss you Junkichi, and I love you. Always. I want to see you again. I want to hear your laugh. I’m sorry. I want to be with you but I know you’ll say I’m an idiot then try to send me back. But don’t worry, I’ll still go to you. Just wait for me, okay?”

-

(kono junki sat on the wall. kono junki had a great fall. all the doctors and all the machines, couldn’t put junki together again.

 _but it’s okay_ , junki tells keigo before dying. _i'll be okay_.)

**Author's Note:**

> pls don't forget to leave a comment or talk to me on twt @ for__jo1


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